Tell Me Another Story! Tell Me Another Story!

Many of us have stories – great, terrible stories that we use to impress others, about how we used to do this or that, and then we suffered such an injury, and we still feel it today. These stories come into our lives after we get hurt in a way that does not heal quickly. Chronic ailments can seem to become lifelong companions. And after a time, our impressive stories begin to define us, so that we cannot imagine walking through this life without our pains. When we get to a point where we no longer seek out help to get rid of a pain, but only to manage it, we have stopped (at least temporarily) seeking to heal.

I mean no judgment in saying this.  I have had such a companion of pain myself for the past two decades. A back injury I sustained earlier in life became my defining “war story.” On the positive side, it pushed me to study back pain and the structure of the body to the point where that became my specialty in the clinic. This drive has helped me do a lot of good for people. But on the negative side, I have been increasingly aware that my back pain and the story of my injury are getting a little too comfortable on the sofa, if you know what I mean. Having guests that overstay their welcome is SO tiresome!

So how to we get rid of these bad houseguests? If you hear the right story, it is as easy as pie. Most injury stories have the same basic structure – they are essentially saying, “I used to be great and strong and fearless, and I got this bad injury which continues to plague me.” A story like this is saying two things. First, it is telling the listener that the person was once great and strong and fearless. Second, it is telling the listener that the injury is the reason why the person is no longer these things. The injury becomes an affirmation of the existence of traits that the speaker wishes to see in himself or herself, but also lets him or her ‘off the hook’ if those traits cannot be seen right now, because, really, how could they with such an injury?

For the remedy , I follow the advice of my beloved niece who, after hearing a good story exclaims, “tell me another story!” And that is just what you do. You tell another story. The difference is that in the new story you do not mention the injury and the heroic manner in which it was received. You focus, instead, on how great and strong and fearless you are. Period. By shifting the focus to the good things that you want out of the story, and away from the bad things that are holding you back, you rewrite your life as it unfolds. When the treatment takes care of the injury, and as your pain lessens, you keep telling stories that nourish and support you. After a while, your stories become grander and grander, and you forget about the injury altogether.

So honor the story you have been telling up to this point. Tell it one more time if you need to, or if you are talking with a client, ask them to tell you the story one last time in detail. Then let it go. Let it go and tell a new story in which you are not injured, but getting stronger and stronger. If you are not already in treatment, go get treatment to support the new you. In a short period of time, you will have left your injury companion behind and moved into a far greater way of living. From time to time, if you find that you wake up expecting pain or come across some other reminder of how things used to be, recognize the event as similar to an old sock left behind by an untidy houseguest. And it may be that there are a lot of socks that you find left behind in this way.  But for each one, smile, take a breath, change your energy around it, and let it go – just like throwing an old sock into the garbage.