It is inevitable in building our practices that we will see clients who are belligerent, unpleasant, and just “push all our buttons.” The most important thing to ask yourself in such a situation is whether you can have love for this person. In order to do your best treatment, you need to feel a love-your-fellow-human love for each of your clients. This love helps you to see the best in people. When you see the best in your clients, you will be looking for possibilities for growth and healing, and your treatments will always be successful. Regardless of whether symptoms go away, you will be moving your clients towards a better state of health in their lives, and doing your job correctly.
Without love, you can get bogged down in your work by things your clients may do or say that upset you or make you feel diminished in your authority and validity as a practitioner. You do not have to like everything your clients say and do. What you have to do is be as grounded as you can in the face of whatever comes, and address things that have become difficult. A strain on the relationship between you and your client that is not addressed will grow over time. It will be like the proverbial elephant in the room for you, and will create a distance between you and your client. At that point, you will no longer see the best in them, you will miss opportunities for helping them get to their best health in life, and you will end up allowing your own greatness as a practitioner to be diminished.
The other day, on my way to work, I was stopped at a traffic light near some road construction that narrowed the space for cars to get through. As the light was about to change so I could go, a lady surged forward and stopped suddenly to spectacularly block the grid, forcing everyone to wait until we could squeak around her. For three blocks, I was pissed off. After that, I was able to breathe and think about the look on that woman’s face. She wasn’t trying to inconvenience anyone. She just made a mistake. And she was clearly embarrassed and off-center as she sat in the middle of the intersection. This is what I mean by love. When I was angry, all I saw was the bad in her. When I was able to open my heart, I had compassion for the fact that she was probably a good person who was just having a bad day.
Your clients will have bad days. Heck, they could be in the middle of a bad month or year when they come to see you. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Hold a space of love for them. Try to see the best that they could be, and do the best you can to help them. And if all else fails, do the right thing and give them a good referral to another practitioner you respect and who you genuinely think could help them.
Nicely put. I would add that when our clients push our buttons, it's a good time to look inside ourselves and find the places where we need to grow. That way, there won't be a button to press the next time. (Though the patient will surely find another button we haven't yet noticed!)
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